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Would You Stay or Leave A Partner Infected With HIV?

Updated: Nov 10, 2021

LOVE QUESTIONS - Would you stay or leave a partner with HIV/AIDS?

Dear Fave,

Today I have a Love Question for you

but first it is good to understand the meaning of what we are talking about before it can be debated on.

Human Immunodeficiency Virus- HIV is an acquired virus that gradually attacks the body's immune system, which acts as a natural defence against illness.

This lentivirus (a type of retrovirus) starts to destroy the white blood cell, which basically works to fight off infections/inflammations in the body (like a police for the body), directly the T-helper cell and make copies of itself inside. If you have ever heard something like CD4 cells or the count when dealing with an HIV patient and wondered what it meant, T-helper cells are also known as CD4 cells.

When a person's CD4 count drops to less than 200cells/ml in blood, they are said to have AIDS the count refers to the number of T-helper cells in a cubic millimetre of the blood.

While Viral load is the term used to describe the amount of HIV in a persons blood, especially to know the level of the treatment.

The CD4 count is variable to the viral load, the higher the viral load the lower the CD4 count and vice versa.

If a person becomes infected with HIV, then it is harder for the white blood cells to go to work and if they cannot go to work, then they cannot fight.

HIV is not AIDS.

AIDS acquired immune deficiency syndrome is a syndrome caused by HIV virus like in an advanced state where opportunistic infections attack the body and eventually leads to DEATH.

A mixed-status relationship is one in which one partner is HIV+ while the other is HIV-

The question is, Is it safe? The reality is that there is always a risk of transmission, but you can minimize this risk.

Before all the yarn about _____ I know you want to know the possibilities of

Do you know your HIV status as a couple and as an individual, If the answer is no, you should go get tested as soon as possible. That is the only way, you can know your status.


It is all about communication, that line has to be open. Ask yourself are you ready to constantly keep the line of communication open?

A mixed status couple can have a healthy baby without passing the virus to both the uninfected partner and the baby.

METHODS OF CONCEPTION; In-vitro fertilization, Artificial insemination, Adoption, Surrogacy, Sperm donor, unprotected intercourse during ovulation only with an undetectable viral load.

Speak to your doctor about the risk of all this methods.

The baby immediately after delivery will be treated to reduce the risk of transmission

The ultimate question – Can you have sex?

Put in mind that the number one goal is to avoid exchange of body fluids.

The answer is Yes, but the chances of transmission depends on the level of the infected person's viral load which is controlled by their consistency in taking their medical treatments, which reduces the amout of virus in their blood and bodily fluids, plus the use of a condom further decreases the risk of transmission to a partner.

While the uninfected person's transmission depends on PEP or PrEP.

PEP- means post exposure prophylaxis i.e drugs that should be taken immediately or in less than 72hours after an exposure to the risk HIV.

PrEP – means pre exposure prophylaxis i.e drugs that should be taken before exposure to the risk of the virus.

NB. Do not be tempted to use the drugs of the infected person for the non-infected person as PEP/PrEP. If you decide to use any of the above methods make sure to visit a properly trained personnel for this special purpose.

Tips for both partners.


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